Sorrow

I wanted to send a prefacing note to the prayer and thoughts for today. Over the years, as I have read passages like Psalm 88 and see the stark pain and struggle encompassed in the words, I have been struck by the sheer honesty and sorrow in it. Psalm 88 begins and ends on a negative note, in direct contrast to Psalms that start negative and end positive. I think that sometimes we are afraid to be this honest and forthright with God. I think that some times we have the view that we must always end on a positive note, because it is the Christian thing to do, even if we do not feel the positive hopefulness that we express. I believe that I am learning from the example of scripture, that sometimes it is ok to just pour out our pain, frustrations, sorrow, angers and even questions to God. I do not believe that he runs from it or always rebukes it. If we come expressing these things in a void of faith…that God tends to rebuke. I think often of Mary’s question to the angel when she was told she was going to have a child. She asked how it could be since she was a virgin. She asked in faith, not doubting God, but just in wonderment of how this could be. Contrast that with Sarah when told she would have a child, she laughed and asked her question in a way that indicated a disbelief of the truth spoken. There is a difference in the tone of these two questions. I believe that when we come to God, in complete faith and trust, and pour before Him our troubles, cares, and hardships, He hears, He cares, He listens, and He comforts. He may admonish us at times to get up and stop wallowing in self pity if we allow it go to that extreme, but I do sincerely believe God understands our emotions and gives us a place to appropriately share those with Him. As in all things….appropriately and balanced.

With that said…I composed a poem recently that tried to put this very idea into practice.  I will not lie, it was written on a day that I was feeling weary of the challenges and stresses of this life.  However, the depths of this poem for me spans more than just this one day on which it was composed.  It spans the years of my life and attempts to share, I believe, what all of us at times feel to some extent or other.  On the day in question that I penned this, I was weary and discouraged as I face the burdens and challenges of my life as well as the challenges others face, of which I also bear their burdens.  The ironic thing is that penning this poem had an encouraging and uplifting effect for me.  It was as if I took the burdens I bore and laid them at Jesus feet and asked him to bear them for me.  Life is still wearying at times, for sure, but the joy of unloading those at the feet of Jesus to find mercy in the time of need was (is) beautiful and freeing.  There was indeed a cathartic effect and healing from the sharing.  Please allow me to say as well though…as we share, I do pray that we return to the truth we know so well, the truth that is held for us in the living word of God.  The sharing alone will not heal and free if we do not hide in the truth and stand faithfully upon it.  Share, yes…but beseech the grace of God to give strength to rise and stand upon the solid foundation of His timeless word.  Go on to Psalm 89 and rejoice and praise Him after your period of grieving.  

Psalm 88 is also included here and the prayer I prayed then, and that I pray now for you, reflects the joy of giving our burdens to Jesus and feeling His loving care for us as we live in a world that is filled with sorrow and pain.  As you read and reflect, I pray that it encourages, comforts, and even challenges you to take your burdens to God.

I love you all

Pastor Mike

Sorrow

Weariness strikes deeply at my soul

In loneliness and isolation I roam

Bearing burdens none should carry alone

I forget what it feels like to be whole

Have I ever truly known anything more

Brokenness is all there seems to be

Battles, sickness, hurt, grief, pain are all I see

The marks of this life cut to one’s inner core

I sit, nursing pain throbbing in my head

Hopeless weariness coursing through me

Sleep; escape calling me to come; to flee

My human strength failing, hoping for escape in bed

I know all the promises of His word

Even now they rise and flash in my mind

They are precious to me; truth to comfort I find

I am thankful for their power, of which, I am assured

Yet, the weariness of my soul resists

Lacking strength and desire to grasp a hold

Laying claim to the truths, the promises so bold

I ache for an easier way than that which calls me to persist

Escape, rest, peace, cessation are all I desire

I lack the will and desire to even pray

Words fail me and I am left with nothing to say

My soul aches, longing for a consuming fire

Where do I go from here?  What do I do?

Mind is blank; answers evade; silence descends

Blissful silence, better than strife, why can’t you stay, why must you end?

Life hurts; the struggle is real.  Where do I go, what do I do?

Michael Stitzel

May 6, 2019

Abba,

You don’t turn and run from such stark honesty and lament.  Psalm 88 I just one example of how You hear and care.  Such a passage has been preserved for us in scripture as an example of how such darkness and despair are not rebuked or turned away by You.  You know our flesh.  You know our weaknesses.  You know the weariness and sorrow that saturates our souls at times and You invite and welcome us to come and lay our burdens at Your feet.  Perhaps we all can relate, at least somewhat, to the sorrow and grief written here or in Psalm 88.  Abba, may we feel invited and cared for enough to come with the honesty of our hearts, the sorrow of our souls, and the pain of our lives to lay them before you.  But may we also walk away with hope, comfort, peace, strength.  We may not walk away with all the answers, but I pray that as we lay such burdens, such sorrows are Your feet, that we will at least walk away with comfort, with assurance that you have heard us, have taken us in Your arms, and have cradled us till we fall asleep in peace resting in Your care.  Remind us of this much that we may have joy to carry on when the morning wakes.

I Cry Out Day and Night Before You

88 A Song. A Psalm of the Sons of Korah. To the choirmaster: according to Mahalath Leannoth. A Maskil of Heman the Ezrahite.

1    O Lord, God of my salvation,

I cry out day and night before you.

2    Let my prayer come before you;

incline your ear to my cry!

3    For my soul is full of troubles,

and my life draws near to Sheol.

4    I am counted among those who go down to the pit;

I am a man who has no strength,

5    like one set loose among the dead,

like the slain that lie in the grave,

       like those whom you remember no more,

for they are cut off from your hand.

6    You have put me in the depths of the pit,

in the regions dark and deep.

7    Your wrath lies heavy upon me,

and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah

8    You have caused my companions to shun me;

you have made me a horror to them.

       I am shut in so that I cannot escape;

9        my eye grows dim through sorrow.

       Every day I call upon you, O Lord;

I spread out my hands to you.

10    Do you work wonders for the dead?

Do the departed rise up to praise you? Selah

11    Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,

or your faithfulness in Abaddon?

12    Are your wonders known in the darkness,

or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?

13    But I, O Lord, cry to you;

in the morning my prayer comes before you.

14    O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?

Why do you hide your face from me?

15    Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,

I suffer your terrors; I am helpless.

16    Your wrath has swept over me;

your dreadful assaults destroy me.

17    They surround me like a flood all day long;

they close in on me together.

18    You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me;

my companions have become darkness. [1]

[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Ps 88:title–18). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.