Psalm 27:12

Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;

For false witnesses have risen against me,

And they breath out violence.

A Smile Breaks

The words stung as they came

Profound bewilderment washing over

Stomach twisting into knots

Heat rising in my face

Anger sitting like rocks in my gut

Tears coming unbidden

Hurt mixing with anger

Once being a man of words

Now speechless and silent

Agape

The accusation hanging in the air

The last thing expected

And from the least likely source

Or at least, it was once thought so.

Then more comes.

These expected, anticipated, not surprising.

And yet the slap of the words

Burns deeper still as they compound

False guilt heaped upon my shoulders

Unearned shame poured out

These adversaries seek blood

Restitution; payment for wrongs perceived

Heart cowers and quivers

Sinking beneath the weight of words

Unnoticed by those merciless foes

The onslaught continues

The only recourse?

To withdraw within

Abba, Abba, Abba,

What am I to do?

My adversaries come with malice

Lies.  False Guilt.  Ugly Shame.

They dump it here; seeking blood!

What defense do I have?

There is none to stand for me

None to defend me

Not that they would have ears to hear

They spread lies and poison

Already I see it on the faces of others

They believe my guilt

They think less of me.

What am I to do?

What am I to do, Abba?

The floodgates cannot be restrained

Tears pour forth

Raining upon the ground

Hot and burning as they go

Convulsive sobs violently shake

Weakness overcomes

Falling, falling, collapsing

Can’t get control.  Can’t…

Now they stand over me

Glee and mirth over their words impact

Wasted, broken, overcome am I

Sliding into hopelessness and despair

Their words continue

Though no longer audible

Only muffled and muted now

Finally silence.

So startling is the stillness

I jerk upward

Glancing around now

Eerie silence

And then I see Him.

HE stands there.

Calm.

Peaceful.

Serene.

Hand outstretched

A look of love so deep

Tears spring up again

It is moments before a response can be found

He waits.

Patient

Calm.

Peaceful

Serene.

Loving.

Reaching out my hand

His hand.

My hand.

They touch.

That’s all it takes.

His power, presence, and grace…

Flow into me.

He steps close

Bending

Picking me up

Cradling me near his chest

Forehead on mine

Father to Child

Whispering his love

He is here now

What have I to fear?

The accusation of the adversary fading

Truth flooding my soul

The scorn and disapproval still present

But no longer of consequence

His approval, his validation

This is all that matters

He whispers softly

Speaking truth

Speaking love

Speaking hope

Speaking grace

The strength of his arms

The tenderness of his touch

Bringing strength out of weakness

Bringing might out of powerlessness

Moments pass.

Strength returns

Warmth floods my soul

Joy in his presence

Comfort in his nearness

Safety in his shelter

Vindication in his judgment

Security in his just decree

Isolation forever banished

Ignorance overcome by wisdom

Strength found in weakness

Mercy present in need

Grace always in abundance

Never have I felt stronger arms

Never has there been a greater love

Never have I felt less fear

Never have I felt as complete

Standing now

Next to him

He takes my hand in His

Looking me in the eye

I know.

All is well.

He is here.

Turning His head

He faces my adversaries

And I know.

Their will shall not prevail

Their violent intent will fail

For I am His

And He is my defense.

My King.

A smile breaks upon my face.

Abba,

What joy and peace is found in this truth.  You have already vindicated me.  We have already stood in the court of law.  My accuser has stood against me and done his best to condemn me.  But he failed.  Not because of my deeds and works.  No.  He had every just cause to bring fault against me.  He failed because Jesus, you stepped up.  You declared your intention to offer your lifeblood in my place; to pay for my debt.  And God, my just judge, you accepted.  Now I stand, not in my own righteousness, but in Yours, Jesus.  And this is eternal.  No more condemnation will I face, for your payment is sufficient for eternity.  And while others may attempt fault finding; while the adversary may again bring charge, your blood, Jesus, forever covers me and leaves me pure before you, Abba.  Whose is there to condemn?  Who is there to bring charge against me?  None.  There is none.  This is your promise to me.

The filth that does linger, that is left within me from the remaining flesh in which I dwell, that is not yet entirely gone; it is being purged, cleansed, and removed.  Spirit, you are working to convict, sanctify, and draw confession and repentance; a renouncing of all unrighteousness.  One day, it will be gone for good.  This too is the promise you have made to us. 

This is reason for joy.  For peace.  For hope.

Thank you, Abba!