My heart is still

My mind seems blank

At peace

Not troubled after many things

Not bothered with busyness

Yes, it still feels wrong

To not be busy

To stare out at the water

The falls drowning all noise

Everything all still and quiet

My heart and mind want to speak

My pen wants to flow

And yet nothing comes

No words, no thoughts

Just silence

Or perhaps it is too many…

A cacophony of thoughts

And images

That my, now at peace, heart

Does not know where to begin.

Perhaps, Abba, you don’t want

Any words to come

But rather you desire for me

To wrestle with the uncomfortable silence

To be okay being still

Perhaps I need to be okay

With giving my mind 

And heart

A respite from the onslaught

Of life’s busy demands.

Perhaps I need to learn to be still

Long enough to hear

To be quiet and still enough

To truly listen

For your still small voice

Perhaps it is because

I am wholly unfamiliar 

With the stillness

The silence

That I find it uncomfortable

Perhaps because I put too much stock

On my busyness

My activity

That ceasing and drawing near

Feels wrong and wasteful

Teach me the joy of stillness, Abba

Make me enjoy the comfort of silence

Instruct me to be at ease

With the stillness 

of your presence

Teach me to cherish 

The intimacy of your being

Make me ache 

Less for my own productivity

And more for YOU.