Abba,

It feels wrong to admit it, but there is sorrow in the surrender of sin. You would think that there shouldn’t be. Sin crucified You, Jesus. There should not be any sorrow in our surrender of our sin but only such disgust and revulsion that it causes us to shove it off with as much vehemence as possible! The horror of what sin has done ought to light a fire of joy and delight in us when we surrender our sin for You!

Our joy should be like this…

The Parable of the Hidden Treasure

44 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. 

The Parable of the Pearl of Great Value

45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, 46 who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it. 

 The Holy Bible: English Standard Version(Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Mt 13:44–46.

It should be that when we behold Your glory and worth, it gives our hearts great joy to unburden ourselves with all else in order to lay claim to the greater treasure.

And yet…

When we must surrender our sin, when we must die to ourselves, when we must take up our cross…there is sorrow at the death that is required. 

There IS death.

And death brings sorrow.

There is sorrow at the death of self. 

There is sorrow at the death of our sin. 

There is sorrow at the surrender of our sin that is required for intimate pursuit of You.

It feels like it should not be so.  But it is.

Despite the fact that sin is sin…

Despite the fact of its evil and unrighteousness…

Sin is desirable.

The flesh delights in and finds pleasure in the evil it is enticed by and engages in.  Were sin not enjoyable, it would not be a sacrifice to surrender. 

Thus, when sin is repented of and surrendered in order to lay hold of the greater treasure, there is mourning and sorrow.  There is grief over having to put to death the pleasures of sin.

Spirit, as I ponder this, though, You show me a richer truth, even still.

This sorrow over the surrender of sin, in the end, makes the embrace of You and the enjoyment of You all the sweeter.

To surrender something that our flesh desires and that we mourn the loss of IN FAVOR OF SOMETHING ELSE intrinsically means that the thing we are embracing through surrender is WORTH more and is MORE desirable than that which we are surrendering to obtain.  In this way, the thing we are reaching for by surrender is magnified and exalted in a far greater way than that which has been surrendered. 

The surrender of all, the surrender of our sin means to relinquish our hold on all that we prize and value IN ORDER TO LAY HOLD OF THAT WHICH IS OF INFINITELY MORE VALUE AND WORTH.

This is hard though.  The things we relinquish DO have meaning and value to us.  Granted, despite the nature of sin, its deception, filth, lies, manipulations, wickedness, it DID, it DOES have value and worth to us.  It did, it does offer something of what we cherish to us, at least momentarily, temporarily, or in slight proportions.  No, sin can never fully supply what it promises.  Yes, sin hurts more than it helps.  But in the moment, it feels good and feels right, even while it is leeching the life and abundance right out of us.  And yet, despite all that, because of the immediate pleasure it brings, we do find pleasure in it.  And thus, we value it and place great worth on it.


Wrong as it is, this value and worth that we place on it thusly means that it is accompanied by sorrow when it is relinquished.  It does not matter that we are reaching towards that which is of greater worth and value.  In the parable of the man who sold all to buy the treasure, the great pearl of fear greater worth, he still had to part with ALL in order to get the treasure of greater worth.  I imagine that had to come with sorrow at some level.  At the very least, some of what was sold had sentimental and personal value.  This too had to be surrendered in order to gain that which was of greater worth.

BUT in that surrender, in that sorrow, we magnify the greater worth and value of that which we reach towards, You Abba, through our willingness to lay down that which we have looked to for our pleasure and comfort, our security and delight. 

There was great surrender and sacrifice here for the sake of the thing which was worth more.

I have to think, as well, that the greater we behold You, the greater the joy in casting of what hinders us from taking hold of You.  The more we see of You, the more readily we are willing to cast off all that prevents us from fully taking hold of You.  The more we see of You, the less we will cling to that which we once held dear and we will see it for what it is.  Perhaps our biggest problem in surrendering sin is that we have not beheld You enough to fully behold the vastly inferior nature of that which we cling to instead of You.


Thus, as we grow and mature in our relationship with You, I believe we will find that the deeper our intimacy with You, the easier it is to surrender sin for You.

I imagine that it begins harder and gets easier as we enjoy greater depths of intimacy with You.  Will it ever “be easy?”  Maybe not.  But should it get easier?  Probably. The more we behold You, the deeper we delight in You, the more we will readily surrender that which prevents us from knowing the fullness of Your being. 

So, is there sorrow in surrender?  Sure.

But is that sorrow turned into a greater joy than we ever thought possible?  Absolutely. 

Embracing sorrow to find joy….now there’s a thought!