God Became a Child

6  For to us a child is born, 

to us a son is given; 

  and the government shall be upon his shoulder, 

and his name shall be called 

  Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

 7  Of the increase of his government and of peace 

there will be no end, 

  on the throne of David and over his kingdom, 

to establish it and to uphold it 

  with justice and with righteousness 

from this time forth and forevermore. 

  The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this. 

Isaiah 9:6–7 (ESV)

As exhausted as I was, I still felt it when Joseph lay in the hay next to me, our precious boy in his arms.  I opened my eyes and looked at him.  His eyes were already closed, a sense of peace and joy emanating from his visage.  The sense of serene peacefulness was so deep and profound that my breath caught in my chest and it was a moment before I resumed breathing again.  The look was of one who had met with YHWH and who had come away changed.  A sudden sense of wonder and admiration at his strength and love overcame me then.  Warmth and joy flooded into my soul as my gaze drifted from husband to son.  Shifting, I drew near to them so that my arm could drape comfortably over Jospeh’s body, Jesus cocooned between us.  My face and forehead inches from his now, I could feel the soft breath of his slumber as it cascaded over me.  Joseph stirred slightly but did not wake.  

Awake now, at least momentarily, I pondered.  The road ahead of us would not be easy.  Already, it had not been easy. The scrutiny, the looks, the judgement.  They didn’t understand.  How could they?  Joseph himself had not until the angel had come to him in a dream.  We couldn’t blame them.  We would not have believed it either had not the angel come to us.  

US!  Of all people for the Messiah to be born too…

Glancing at the face of this precious boy, my son, our Messiah, I was filled with love and devotion.   His birth had left me exhausted, as had the journey to get here.  And yet, such energy thrummed through my limbs. 

The SON OF GOD!  I was the mother of the Son of God!  

Stroking his cheek, I felt the soft flesh of his face.  He stirred at my touch, head turning toward my fingers which still lightly stroked his beautiful face.  

Running my hand over his head, I let them flow through tendrils of hair, soft and tender.  As I did, his body scrunched as he sought to snuggle ever closer to me.  I drew him near to me, gently taking him from Joseph, careful so as not to disturb him in his slumber.  

As I drew Jesus close, I marveled!  God became a child!  An infant!  A helpless and dependent child.  One whom we would have to raise for the next decade or two.  The wonder of it still left me confounded.  

We would raise the Messiah! We were responsible for raising the Son of God!  How does one even do that?  What would that even look like?  What would HE look like?

Joseph shifted in his sleep now, clearly at peace in his rest.  The sight of it filled me with joy and comfort!  How blessed was I!  How blessed were we!

The baby stirred again, head arching, searching.  The pressure in my breast alerted me that it was time.  Drawing him near and uncovering myself, he quickly found my breast and began to suckle.

I began to weep then.  Tears of joy, elation, and wonder!  The joy of a child was beyond anything I could imagine.  But it was more than that.  This was the very Son of God!  God Himself suckling on my breast, taking nourishment from my body!!  WHAT A WONDER!  It was almost too much to bear!  How was I to make sense of this moment!  How was I to approach this task?  How was I to understand any of this? 

I guess I wasn’t.  That is where faith came in.  I know YHWH sent Him.  I know this is the Messiah. I know this is the Son of God. What the days ahead, what the future will look like, that was not revealed to me nor to Joseph.  But we were chosen for this task.  Amazingly, bewilderingly so!  Us!  It made no sense and every time I thought on it, I was overcome by the privilege and responsibility of it.   Every time I was humbled by it. 

Watching him suckle now, the steady sound of his eating, I was led to prayer and worship.  God came…as helpless babe…dependent upon the very nourishment of my breast…dependent upon the care of human parents…

This God, now suckling at my breast, would be the very salvation and hope that we would later depend upon, that even now we depended upon.  The joy in my heart could not be contained and it overflowed into silent prayer and worship.  I was holding my God!  I was holding my Savior!  I was holding my hope!  I wanted, in that moment, to hold him close and never let him go.  I wanted to cling to Him.  Never had I felt YHWH so close before!  The tears of wonder and joy flowed slightly now even as the praise continued to fill my heart and ascend to heaven on silent lips!

He ate silently until his hunger was satiated.  Without crying, he fell back into a peaceful slumber, a calm and contented expression on his features.  I could not take my eyes off of him!  Never did I want this moment to end.  This night felt holy!  And holy it was.  The shepherds visit, and their words, lay upon my heart with a precious and mysterious weight that even now I pondered and wondered at.  

We lay there in that hay, just the three of us.  Joseph and Jesus sleeping peacefully, the night silent around us, the stable silent around us.  Filled with the wonder of a God who had come near, with the God who now rested here in the hay, I joined them in sleep…the Savior of the world nestled between us.