Ephesians 5:25

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  (Ephesians 5:25–33, ESV)

Abba,

In a world that is offended by and insulted with the notion of a man protecting women, we come to this verse.

There is beauty here.  Whatever they may say.  There is a cherishing.  A value.  A man willing and desirous of protecting and caring for what he prizes and holds dear.  Why is that so offensive or hard to see?  I know the answer—Pride.  Culture and society have been telling us for years that this ideology is demeaning to women; that it is a declaration of their weakness.  They are attempting to convince us that such ideology is chauvinistic and an insulting declaration of their incapability to do the same things men are capable of doing.  Thus, even the simple act of holding a door for a lady has been construed as offensive now.  It has come to be viewed as a man asserting his over inflated elevated view of his own importance or strength—and thus his worth—over that of a woman’s.

But these are just the lies of the adversary.  The wicked, malicious lies of the Father of Lies.  Willingness to love our wives, to cherish woman, to honor and respect them as the beautiful created beings that God designed them to be, to love them as Christ loved the church is on full display when a man is willing to lay down his life for them.  When he is willing to die to his own passion and interests, sacrificing and placing her needs above his own, far from being self consumed, it displays honor, care, value for her over himself.  It does not insinuate weakness or disrespect.  Quite the opposite.  No one has ever died or sacrificed for something they did not value or cherish. 

And frankly, even if it did denote a weaker state, so what?  Weaker does not mean less valuable or less cherished.  There is no shame in “weaker.”  We are weaker than You, Abba.  You do not shame us for that.  Being weaker than another is sometimes just about design or function, not value or worth.  In fact, the more precious something is, the greater care we give to treat it with value and care.  

Oh how the adversary has distorted this.  What a shame that he has!  The beauty and preciousness of reveling in the care of another—the sense of value from being protected and provided for—THAT is what the adversary has stolen from us with this lie. 

Asserting one’s own strength and ability may well serve your pride, but it will isolate.  It will strip meaning and intimacy from relationship.  It will spurn the selfless love of another who attempts to sacrifice and give for the benefit of another that they cherish more than themself. 

This is exactly the adversaries thinking.  It is his intent.  What a war crime this is!  What a sorrow the wounds this inflicts; and keeps inflicting.  Oh, Abba, that we would reclaim what he has stolen from us. Oh, that would stop permitting his vicious lies to determine truth and rob us of the joy you intend.  Redeem truth, Abba.  Expose the lie and let us run to You and Your design for the fullness of delight in Your glory!